Take A Moment And Read

Last night was a sleepless night .  I was trying to subdue a war in my head that I didn't fully understand. Steady, fragmented images of human beings, development, suspected local political leaders – all heavy and complicated.  I couldn't escape these images in my mind. 

I was still there in the City Council meeting from last week.  I was in the room speaking, watching, while the man I was about to address arose and walked out of the room right before me as I was talking about wasteful lawsuits.

As I reflect on these inescapable moments keeping me awake I realized several important things about myself and our community.

I am a person who believes in a sustainable and optimistic society.  The optimism is the mechanism that cultivates progressive innovation and is sustained most importantly by love.

Our city has great potential for a harmonious egalitarian society.  Some ideas I have for promoting harmony and joy are:  an indoor beach volleyball facility, indoor roller skating rink, a bio-dynamic garden, and a marine lab—just to name a few!.  I believe our city is capable of having the very much needed adequate parking, more efficient, sustainable and safer means of alternative transportation--and I see the trust cultivated in our day to day life in Long Beach…There is a lot to invest in here in Long Beach.    Obviously the leaders feel the same way; otherwise they wouldn't have worked so hard before and after Hurricane Sandy. 

I hold my community very close and dear to me.  Yet, I let my emotions for Long Beach get out of hand. You see on  Tuesday, the fifth of August, I was none of those things I hold dear.  One person’s opinion and perspective  led me to believe a corrupt political financier whose patterns of tangling his web over our beloved city.  It made sense too since politications often are stuck in corruption and that sole influence led me to believe it was possible once again. 

The Good and welfare portion of August 5th's city council meeting, like every other good and welfare portion, provided me an opportunity to discuss issues I care about; like composting, no signage regarding people keeping off our newly cultivated Dunes.  Instead, I wrote a speech basically casting a guilty verdict at an individual solely based on speculation. I behaved how I've never behaved before.  I breathed life into disingenuous pitiless abstractness and distrust. 

The war in my head took a solemn turn, when I realized I had been speculating optimistically, and hopefully just moments before casting these guilty verdicts.  I had been fearlessly hopeful that our City Manager, and Legal Counsel are capable of great achievement.  I had the faith I had before Sandy, and after our boardwalk opened this year.  Yet this time--I let speculation drive me in to a limbic state—in short .  let myself down.

I'd like to believe the lesson learned here is concentrate more.  The heart is capable of reasoning in a way the mind is far too limited to do, especially when it comes to trusting fellow human beings.

It's okay to say "I may be wrong,” and then come back to my breath, find my genuine self, and to stop the unnecessary projection of pitiless abstractness at other virtuous entities. 

Now, about that roller-rink…. :-)